Family, friends and faded dreams
by Thatkliqkid
Summary: Drabbles mainly focusing on Shawn Hunter and his lack of stability. A mixture of short stories, some set in the Boy Meets World Universe and others in the Girl meets world universe.
1. Chapter 1

The call had been breathless, a constant stream of excitement saturated in fear. Cory's words had ran into each other, until they were one jumbled sentence, announcing Topanga's labour. Now Shawn stood, hours later, darkness still blanketing a sleeping New York City whilst the hospital was a hive of activity, but the people rushing around were blurred into his background. Shawn only had eyes for them.

The duo that had become a trio as the baby girl entered the world on this cold December morn. Another factor in the budding sense of adulthood that locked him out. Another divider to mark him, something else to ache for but never own. For although he'd held that tiny bundle, felt her solid weight in his arms, and smiled down at her scrunched up face, he knew Riley Matthews was merely another slice of normalcy that he could never have. Like the wife, the house, the family pet. He was still stranded in a trailer park, abandoned and alone, desperately trying to grasp onto that love, that security. That stability that eluded him no matter how hard he grappled. He couldn't get past the damn Eskimo.

Topanga, lay exhausted on the bed, eyes rimmed black with lack of sleep, but they shimmered with an unspeakable joy, and Cory, his face radiated the same overwhelming happiness.

He so desperately wanted to mirror that, but he couldn't. All he felt was that black hole, that hole that never filled, that hole that seared him, loneliness that burned him up, reminded him that he'd never have the wife or kids. That he was too screwed up. Too lone wolf. Too much of a burden. Life experience had taught him, he was manageable, but only in small doses. His father flitted in and out, his mother up and left, he only managed to stay with the Matthews for three weeks before they were sick of him. He had that personality. He dragged everyone down with his issues. Babies were too fragile for that weight. They were perfect, and they needed to remain that way. They needed their parents undivided attention, they demanded it.

There'd be no room for Shawn. And he wouldn't want it any other way.

Kids should come first.

And as he booked the first flight out of NYC, Shawn ensured they would do.

He was selfish to be selfless.

He ran from his pain, to give them some peace. For his own sake as much as theirs, knowing the ache of being a part from his two best friends would be less than the agony of confronting the happy family life that still didn't exist for him.


	2. Chapter 2

_Fall, 1996_

It was a Matthews family vacation, a long weekend, taken as a respite between the start of the semester and the upcoming Winter Break.

Shawn accompanied them to Paramus, one duffel bag thrown into the trunk alongside the haphazard stack of suitcases containing everyone else's necessities. Alan had told him to consider it a birthday treat.

Shawn and Cory spent the day in Paramus Mall. Just hanging out, mocking bad movies and tacky souvenirs. On their way to the food court they passed the row of phones, encased against the wall.

"I'm gonna check in with Jon, ok?"

"Sure"

Cory stood near the payphone, desperately trying to make his eavesdropping seem like anything but.

"Did you hear anything from my parents?"

The silence told him all he needed to know. He felt that familiar surge in his heart, the dull ache, that tight knot of anger. That black hole of abandonment, threatening to devour him whole.

"Shawn-"

"It's ok, I mean, they're probably real busy, it's not like they have the time to call, or send a card-"

"I'm sure they'll get in touch, the day's not over yet"

"Forget it. It doesn't matter. I gotta go, I'm almost outta time," mumbled Shawn.

" Shawn-"

He ended the call before he had to hear the rest of Jon's attempt at comfort. He didn't want his pity. He wanted a home, and a birthday cake, and parents. He wanted a normal birthday.

But he was Shawn Hunter.

People like him didn't get those things.

They got trailer parks, and clothes from Good Will, and birthday gifts from the Salvation Army.

If they got gifts at all.

He turned, and there was Cory, his one constant.

"You ok?"

"Who me? Why wouldn't I be? It's just another day Cor, it's no big deal."

"Shawn, it's your _birthday._ It is a big deal."

"Yeah? Since when? It's just a _day_."

Shawn exhaled frustration, his disappointment steeling into bitter, burning resentment as that look crossed Cory's face. That pitying, fragile look of concern. He hated that look.

"I'm fine!" he stressed, "Can we go eat now?"

Cory acquiesced and they ended up at some cheap indoor diner, two cheeseburgers, three fries, and a bunch of sodas spread between them. Halfway through the meal, when all that was left was wrappings and burnt fries, the dregs of soda being slurped noisily through straws, Cory excused himself and left. Shawn sat, looking around at the customers. The kids with their parents, the family days out. He dropped his gaze, started toying with the straw wrapper on the table.

Cory returned, a plate containing a slice of chocolate cake in hand. He placed it triumphantly before him. Shawn looked up.

"For me?"

"Who else?"

"You shouldn't have."

Cory beamed.

"Oh! I almost forgot,"

Shawn watched as Cory rummaged , yanking a birthday candle and a box of matches from his pockets. He stuck the candle into the frosting, chocolate smearing the sides, before lighting it on the third attempt.

"Happy birthday Shawnie,"

He grinned, the flame dancing in his eyes. He let out a breath, extinguishing the orange glow in one go as he wished.

Maybe this year, he'd get it.

 _January 16_ _th_ _, 2015_

Shawn couldn't believe what he was hearing.

All Maya was getting was a _cake ?_

Cory Matthews, scammer extraordinaire, meddler of the ages, had nothing to offer this little girl but a cake? Reuniting Maya with her mother was considered nothing more than _hijinks ?_

He left Cory and Topanga at the bay window.

Maya deserved more than a cake.

She deserved a birthday, with gifts and parents.

He strode with purpose towards the door, and headed towards the Nighthawk Diner.

Shawn could get her these things.

He'd give her the birthday she deserved.

She was worth more than pity cakes, and trailer parks, and Good Will donations, and lonely birthdays forgotten by everyone but best friends.

She wouldn't spend her birthday with a brave grin and a nonchalance, pretending the abandonment didn't eat her up inside.

He'd show her.

He'd show both of them.

Birthdays were more than just any other day.


End file.
